Engaging in positive ways of being include believing in the value of self and others. Affirming oneself amid our imperfections. Acknowledging our inherent worth and the inherent worth of our neighbor and giving ourselves and our neighbor some grace.

We are so often focused on making others comfortable while denying our own needs. We quiet our thoughts and emotions to not upset or burden others. In our authenticity, we make ourselves a priority.

This holiday season is difficult without physical and present connection. It has challenged us to try new traditions while apart, but with the gift of digital connection, we can reach out to family and friends by voice, video, or email. I find joy and gratitude in this.

Grief is an emotion of pain. It is often expressed through mourning which is an action verb. It is a task we work on. Allowing someone a safe space to feel what they need to feel is the greatest gift we can provide. Grief can be exhausting. It is an emotion many people feel inside but never express because of how people respond.

Grief is universal and is encountered by children and adults alike, no one is spared from the grieving experience. The emotions of loss can range from pain and sadness, to love, anger, fear, guilt, and even numbness or denial of reality.

Sometimes these experiences of loss can be sudden or unexpected, sometimes predictable, and sometimes prolonged. It is important to remember and honor that losses do not only include death. We may also experience a loss of identity, safety, innocence, peace, autonomy, sleep, ability, meaning, connection, and our dreams.

I would pose that learning to recognize the reality of the painful and difficult circumstances with acceptance is a healthy key to unlocking the feeling of gratefulness in your life. This gift of gratefulness you give to yourself can and will influence and change you and your relationships.

We often use distractions to avoid feeling emotional or physical pain. As challenging as it is, when we allow ourselves to experience emotional pain in a healthy, safe way there is a reward.

It is important to be mindful of how our feelings are not only manifesting at this moment but also what this reminds us of from our past.

This got me thinking…we are in a yellow flag lap right now. Life is still going, but we are living under caution. We are having to take extra precautions and many things we enjoy and look forward to having been canceled or are limiting spectators. This is meant to protect us and others in the “race”.

Giving back might be a way that we honor others. We may find a cause to be a part of that has helped us in some way in our life. It can connect us to times in our life when we have needed help and compassion from others.

For many of us, if we experienced living in a dysfunctional family unit in childhood, present times of stress can automatically arouse the same fears we experienced in childhood. If these last 52 days have been a difficult time for you, you are not alone. Let’s stop for a moment and ask ourselves how can we experience “Growing in Place” in the middle of this difficult time and not re-experience the fears of our childhood.

The daily patterns of our lives are driven by the need to keep ourselves safe, fear is dominating many of our lives. I would like you to consider that the emotion of fear also has gifts, those of preservation and protection.

During this current pandemic where fear and anxiety are running high, we thought it might be helpful for us to talk about the way our brains process difficult situations. What our brain has experienced in the past determines how we respond to the current day happenings.

Codependency is rooted in our self-esteem. According to Pia, healthy self-esteem is created within an individual who knows that they have inherent worth equal to others. We have inherent worth, period. No matter how much we succeed, who our friends are, what car we drive, or the mistakes we make…We. Are. Worthy.

Resolutions can set us up for cognitive distortion patterns like “all or nothing thinking”. We go back to old patterns we were trying to change, and our brain tells us “all is lost”. I know at that moment my brain loses all self-compassion and I think “better luck next year”.

Since March, our kids, and college students have not been in school due to the COVID-19 pandemic and the biggest question right now is…how are schools going to safely have students back on their campuses. Districts and administrators are working tirelessly to come up with plans A, B, C, and D to provide the safest and best school environment possible. As a parent and former teacher, I can only imagine the pressure and responsibility felt.